So right now I am losing my mind. I know, I know you're all laughing and saying, "Mindy it was never there to begin with, so how could you lose it?" Well haha, ya'll need to come up with some new material.
Today was it, my big day to quit smoking. I was nervous when I woke up so I went and did some shopping for my trip to Vegas this weekend. Yes I am a shopaholic, we can work on that addiction at a later date, much later.....maybe never.....we shall see. Not making any promises, that I definitely can't keep. Okay...okay one thing at a time people. Now back to the Brand Spankin NEW NON-Smokin Mindy!!!!
I went to my appointment, stood outside smoking my last cigarette(s), yes it took 2. I was shaking like a leaf so I called my husband, one of my best friends, and emailed another very good friend with a few tears rolling down my cheek asking how the heck I could actually do this. I even posted the fact that I was scared to death as my Facebook status......support poured in. I finally put out that final cigarette and put one foot in front of the other until I was checking in. Officially final cigarette was 3-10-10 at 2:13pm!
Turns out that today's session was mainly prep for tomorrow. Oh Crap.....shoulda waited till tomorrow, nope gonna stick to my plan. So after talking to my Hypnotist and doing some prep work I feel confident that she is going to help me meet my goals. I felt comfortable and at ease in her presence, and I look forward to the work we do tomorrow!
Now funny thing is that the cravings really are not there, I mean I do get that twinge every now and then but she is right they go away within 3 minutes. That really isn't the big deal. What is killing me is this little voice in me that keeps taunting me!
Come on you know you want a cigarette. Just one more. It will help with the headache your getting.....stuff like that. Then there is the times I catch myself just robotically flowing into my routine!! Pushing away my computer and starting to get up to head out on my back deck to have a smoke just taking a break from surfing the net. Pulling my jacket on, slipping a lighter in the pocket, making sure to slip on shoes before grabbing my cell to head upstairs to have dinner with my Hubby. Wait don't need my jacket, lighter or shoes because I don't have to go outside I don't smoke anymore. Heck I could run around naked if I wanted to (sorry my sweet husband we have kids, neighbors, and well yeah no) because I don't have to be ready to get up to walk outside to light up.
So as hard as I am finding tonight I still believe that this is going to work and that I am doing what is best for me. I can do this and I have a great support system behind me.
Thank you all for the support and well wishes you have sent my way.
Love,
~Mindy
Showing posts with label insane. Show all posts
Showing posts with label insane. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Monday, November 16, 2009
Where is the magnet and how do I get it off?
So today I had to take one of our vehicles in for regular maintenance. No biggie usually, turned out to be one of the more frustrating tasks I have had. First I said I would have it at the Dealer's by 8am. What was I thinking? I am a wreck in the morning on good mornings LOL, and the past few days have been miserable. Alright I was up at 6am anyway so I sucked it up and got myself together. Even remembered to take my meds. Good start. Drop the van off and take the shuttle home, still doing okay. I can nap or play on the computer until they call around 12-1pm, and then head over to my friend's place to see her and have some lunch.
The phone rings at 10:30am it's done early, sweet deal. I ask them to give me about 30 minutes before sending the shuttle to come pick me back up to come get my van. Oh well we can't come until noon. Okay no big deal. At 10 minutes to 12 I go out on my porch and start waiting for the shuttle. At 20 after I call and ask if I messed up the time. Oh no there was an issue with another customer and he's just stuck in traffic, he's on h is way. (Mind you I live at most 10 minutes from the dealership.) So I stay outside. At 15 to I am about to call again and ask what the problem is when the guy finally pulls in.
Finally get over there and get the van all squared away. I am finally on my way to my friends house. I decided to go through the Wal-Mart parking lot because it would be and easier turn to make for me to the street I wanted. I am sitting at the stop sign waiting for a break in oncoming traffic when the car behind me, whose sitting on my bumper, starts blaring it's horn repeatedly. I looked back in my mirror trying to see what the problem was but couldn't tell anything besides a green car was right on my butt. So I ignore the person and their incessant honking and look for my opening to get to the far left lane. I pull out and pull into a spot behind about 6 or 7 other cars waiting for a left green arrow, and the car pulls up beside me instead of behind the only car at the red light up at the line. There are at least 5 car lengths open between this woman's car and the only car waiting at the light.
I look over and she is glaring at me. I put my arms up as if to ask what. I don't know what I had done to make this woman upset. At this point I was wondering if she was trying to tell me something. You know like did I leave something on the roof of my car, or the gas cap open....that kind of thing. Well until I saw her face that is. Then I just got freaked out. I picked up my cell and dialed 911 because this woman was still glaring at me. My light turned green as I started to dial, and she roared off down the road. I made my turn and immediately turned into a parking lot to talk to the police. I gave a description of the car and the license plate number to the state patrol. I don't know why this woman scared me so much but there was just something very wrong, it just felt off.
Those who know me sometimes say I have "interesting" adventures like this one all the time. For instance I just happened to be at Southcenter Mall last November when the shooting occurred. I was directly above the shooting and it scared me so much I couldn't go back to the mall for weeks. I couldn't go by myself for months. I still have issues there from time to time, or in any place that is really really crowded.
It's almost like I am a magnet for trouble to find me in many ways. It's become a joke of some of my friends and family. And there was a time I would have stood my ground and faced that trouble head on heedless of the danger to myself, however that was when I lived in a small town where gangs and this level of danger didn't exist. Back then someone may have kicked my butt, here I may not live.
The phone rings at 10:30am it's done early, sweet deal. I ask them to give me about 30 minutes before sending the shuttle to come pick me back up to come get my van. Oh well we can't come until noon. Okay no big deal. At 10 minutes to 12 I go out on my porch and start waiting for the shuttle. At 20 after I call and ask if I messed up the time. Oh no there was an issue with another customer and he's just stuck in traffic, he's on h is way. (Mind you I live at most 10 minutes from the dealership.) So I stay outside. At 15 to I am about to call again and ask what the problem is when the guy finally pulls in.
Finally get over there and get the van all squared away. I am finally on my way to my friends house. I decided to go through the Wal-Mart parking lot because it would be and easier turn to make for me to the street I wanted. I am sitting at the stop sign waiting for a break in oncoming traffic when the car behind me, whose sitting on my bumper, starts blaring it's horn repeatedly. I looked back in my mirror trying to see what the problem was but couldn't tell anything besides a green car was right on my butt. So I ignore the person and their incessant honking and look for my opening to get to the far left lane. I pull out and pull into a spot behind about 6 or 7 other cars waiting for a left green arrow, and the car pulls up beside me instead of behind the only car at the red light up at the line. There are at least 5 car lengths open between this woman's car and the only car waiting at the light.
I look over and she is glaring at me. I put my arms up as if to ask what. I don't know what I had done to make this woman upset. At this point I was wondering if she was trying to tell me something. You know like did I leave something on the roof of my car, or the gas cap open....that kind of thing. Well until I saw her face that is. Then I just got freaked out. I picked up my cell and dialed 911 because this woman was still glaring at me. My light turned green as I started to dial, and she roared off down the road. I made my turn and immediately turned into a parking lot to talk to the police. I gave a description of the car and the license plate number to the state patrol. I don't know why this woman scared me so much but there was just something very wrong, it just felt off.
Those who know me sometimes say I have "interesting" adventures like this one all the time. For instance I just happened to be at Southcenter Mall last November when the shooting occurred. I was directly above the shooting and it scared me so much I couldn't go back to the mall for weeks. I couldn't go by myself for months. I still have issues there from time to time, or in any place that is really really crowded.
It's almost like I am a magnet for trouble to find me in many ways. It's become a joke of some of my friends and family. And there was a time I would have stood my ground and faced that trouble head on heedless of the danger to myself, however that was when I lived in a small town where gangs and this level of danger didn't exist. Back then someone may have kicked my butt, here I may not live.
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