So first off I am sorry, I know it's been a long time since I have blogged. I have neglected this poor blog for so long, guess I am happy it's still here haha. Frankly I don't even have an excuse for not doing my blog. It's not like work or anything else was getting in my way. And anyone whose known me well they will tell you it's rare for me to be at a loss for words.
So here is a quick health update. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, (something that doesn't seem to shock those around me but took me by surprise, why am I always the last to know everything!) and put on a medication that surprise, surprise brought my brain back home! Super cool, it also has brought down my daily pain just a bit more and given me back a bit of energy to boot. Then there is the fact that my doctor has been very concerned with my extremely high pulse and blood pressure, so I have been on BP meds that I haven't responded to so they did a Kidney study and found out my right one is having a bit of an issue. Seems the artery that leads into the kidney is smaller than it should be, something I may have been born with so I get to add another specialist to my list in April. Yay me. Long explanation made short, the blood isn't getting into the kidney fast enough because of the small artery, so it could be/probably is the reason for my out of control Blood pressure. This can be fixed by surgery we'll figure that out after meeting the specialist. Other than that the Fibro is what it is and I continue to overdo it because well I am a dork. Can't seem to help myself!!!
Okay so now on to the big news, what this Blog is all about today. As of 2:30pm tomorrow I plan to obtain the goal of being a brand new non-smoker! Yes that is right you heard me I am getting rid of those nasty little cigarettes that some of ya'll have been yelling at me about for years. I started smoking when I was 15 years old. My smoking habit has been like my longest friend ever, well almost except for a few girls who recently found me on Facebook again! The ones who started smoking with me haha.
It's time, time to say goodbye to an unhealthy habit. 16 years is a long time to smoke, and to smoke almost a pack a day. Right now when the doctors listen to my lungs or do Xrays they are shocked that I am a smoker because the look and sound great still, I want to keep it that way. My children, sweet and adorable Colby and Brynna have started to pretend to smoke like Mommy. Yikes, definitely not something I want for them. The cost keeps rising and rising and rising. Plus it's freaking hard work to smoke. I can't smoke indoors anywhere anymore, gotta haul my butt outside, and then when I do get out there I get the snotties who glare at me for polluting their precious air. So I get all cranky and defensive wanting to defend my "rights" so there goes the relaxing calming effect I was looking for from that smoke in the first place. Plus with everything else that is out of MY control with my health this one thing I can control. I can say NO and make the healthier change, and make a little bit of a difference in my health. This won't get rid of the other things going haywire with me, it won't make me unbroken, or fix me I know that but even this small change can have greater impacts over the next 5-50 years.
I am going to accomplish this goal of becoming a Non-Smoker with the help of the Positive Changes Hypnosis Center.(http://www.positivechanges.com/) They have a really good success rate and I have even talked with people who have succeeded with their help. As I go through this I plan to blog about it each day and let you know how it goes, how it works, and let you know if I am successful.
They asked me to name 5 reasons I want to quit smoking and here they are:
1. This is in my Control it's my CHOICE to make for a healthier me.
2. My Children. For too many reasons to list!
3. The Cost, there are more important/fun things our family can do with the savings.
4. The inconvenient time and effort it takes to smoke.
5. For my Papa George.
I will admit I am not only apprehensive about my first hypnosis session tomorrow (I really am you would think they were going to stick me in a tank of spiders as nervous as I am!), but the thing that give me great hope is that I am excited to quit smoking. I went to the gas station today and bought my last pack of cigarettes, even announced to the clerk "this is my very last pack ever, I am quitting tomorrow." He asked me for how long and I replied with a great big smile, "Forever." He wished me good luck and said good for me. And the two people behind me in line actually gave me a little clap. I was beat red blushing a ripe red tommato! Then I heard the guy behind me who had just clapped ask for his cigarettes and then say "man I really need to quit too." Which made my smile get just that much bigger!
So I ask of you my friends, family, readers, and random person who happens to stumble across my ramblings to please keep me in your prayers that my heart and mind be wide open to the hypnosis so that I may succeed with this endeavor with God's help, your support and good vibes coming my way, and all the love I feel around me. (For those of you who don't pray or call your higher being God just to let you know that's awesome in my book. I am a come as you are, believe your beliefs, worship as you worship kind of girl. I do not judge by any means no matter what your beliefs on any topic are!!!)
Thank you all for taking the time to read my drivel and sorry for the hiatus. Please take this journey to becoming smoke free with me!
Love,
~Mindy
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Thursday, December 3, 2009
New adventures and a whole lot of pain.....(it's a long one)
Sorry it's been a while since I last blogged, I got caught up in the goings on with Thanksgiving and then found my creative side, LOL!
So Thanksgiving with my Hubby and children was a blast! Colby came in to our room and had us up at 6am even though Casey and I tried to convince him to go back to sleep. Instead we ended up tickling each other and receiving and giving lots of morning kisses as we lazed about in Mommy and Daddy's bed. This went on until Brynna woke up at 7am, then we finally made our way upstairs. Casey ran out and picked up a Thanksgiving paper and a Mocha for Mommy (I am an addict when it comes to my coffee!), my husband is so awesome. We all sat down to a very yummy breakfast of French toast and bacon made by Casey (did I mention my husband can cook and it's all so delicious!!!).
After breakfast it was just about time for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, so we all settled in to watch. I made my few quick calls to family back in Wisconsin to wish them all a Happy Thanksgiving, and finished up just as the parade came on. Colby and Brynna were fascinated some of the parade, other parts of it they could care less for at this age LOL. Brynna showed us that she is definitely going to be our little dancer, as every time any of the Broadway shows did their numbers she was trying to copy the choreography Casey and I of course gave each other the Holy Crap look, and Casey said, "I guess she won't have a problem with choreography when she gets older!" (We love the show So You Think You Can Dance.) When the Rockettes came on we had to rewind it 3 times for them to watch the girls dance. Brynna was even attempting the high kicks, and well I think Colby might be a leg man like his father LOL! Brynna at one point said "Dance with me Mommy." Of course I had to oblige her so I was up dancing with my children.
Soon it was time for me to hit the shower and get us ready to go to dinner at Aunt Terry's Mom's house. We all got dressed up and headed down. The meal was fantastic and huge! I think Miss Sandy made enough food to feed the Marine Corps, and that was after we were done eating LOL! There was a beef roast, a ham, a pork roast, a turkey (of course), 20 pounds of mashed potatoes, a variety of 4 or more "salads", veggies, stuffing, rolls, cranberries, olives, pickles, green bean casserole, and candied yams! Mind you that doesn't even cover desert which was pumpkin pies, pecan pie, apple pie, and brownies. I was so full, yes I at way too much food. It's an unwritten law that you must stuff yourself on Thanksgiving isn't it? By the time we got home I literally passed out on our love seat. I laid down and was so sound asleep in minutes that Casey couldn't even wake me to say goodnight to the kids at 7pm. After he put the kids to bed he managed to rouse me enough to get me to walk into our bedroom, which I don't remember at all. I woke up at 8:30 and asked him how the heck I had gotten into our room. I was completely wiped out. Wow, I couldn't believe how fully drained I was and my only thought was how am I going to survive Christmas if Thanksgiving did this to me LOL!!!
So that weekend we decorated the house, by which I mean Casey and the kids did most of the decorating. I just mainly sat there and watched them because I was still low on energy and my pain was elevated slightly. End result our house looks gorgeous for the Christmas season. Oh and we did do shopping both Saturday and Sunday for decorations only, I wouldn't get near the mall craziness!!!
Then enters Monday and I get an idea in my head that I just can't shake so guess where I find myself on Tuesday.....out shopping for materials. I had been looking for a nice Stationary gift boxed set, similar to what one of my friends gave me about 7 or 8 years ago. I scoured the net and came up with nothing, it seems the art of hand written correspondence is a dying. Somehow I stumbled across decoupage which is the art of decorating an object by gluing colored paper cutouts onto it in combination with special paint effects, gold leaf and so on. Commonly an object like a small box or an item of furniture is covered by cutouts from magazines or from purpose-manufactured papers. Each layer is sealed with varnishes (often multiple coats) until the "stuck on" appearance disappears and the result looks like painting or inlay work. So I decide to make my own "writing box" and then I can fill it and decorate it to my liking anyway. Well I don't find the materials for my writing box and at first I contemplated building my own wooden box, then scratched that idea figuring that would be a little too over my head for now. (I have a really bad habit of going overboard and over my head, that whole jump without looking think hahaha) So I find this really simple unfinished cigar box and decided to make something out of it to test the waters of decoupage. I also didn't go crazy buying materials as I knew I had a bunch of things that would work from my failed foray into scrapbooking (and I man would it make my Hubby happy if I actually used them hehehe)!
So home I did trot with a determination I hadn't felt in ages, and an adrenaline rush to boot, plus my creative juices were flowing. I set myself up in the garage and set to work on my first piece. I started at about 4pm and was still working when my husband got home at 11pm that night! I was focused and happy creating this box. I loved it. I forgot while I was working that I was sitting in an uncomfortable metal folding chair, I forgot to go out and smoke for the most part (I only had two cigarettes in that time frame!!!), and I forgot about the pain for a little while. I was free for a while in unleashing my creativity. I was in heaven.
When I got up the next morning I was in pain but I ignored it and went to my therapy appointment, then to my friend Julie's. I had a great time there holding the baby for a little while, but I listened to my body and when my arms started to ache I put him in his swing. I tried to be helpful to their candy making efforts by policing the kids a bit. I even listen to my body when I could feel the energy waning in me and said my goodbyes gave hugs, headed home for that nap that my body was telling me I needed. But first I'll just swing by the craft store and pick up the stuff to finish off the box. Yeah an hour later I walk out with not just the stuff to finish my first box but more boxes as well! And that nap, somehow I was in the garage working on the box thinking I'll just get this first coat of paint done and then I'll nap while it dries, sure. And wouldn't you know it the second box 'magically' appeared in my hands and I was painting it while the paint dried on the first box. And that's where I was when the hubby got home at 5pm. I did put things away and went in the house shortly after he got home.
It didn't take long for the pain to set in either. It was horrible and it was bad. I could barely move, I was so stiff and the pain was so bad I was doing my 'old lady shuffle'. All I could think was crap, I haven't been this bad in a while. Casey made dinner and helped me up the stairs, so we shared our evening upstairs and then he helped me back down and we went to bed. I slept horrible, I couldn't get comfortable because of the pain. So when Casey was leaving for work and handing my morning meds, I asked for one of my pain pills. That says enough right there. For me to ask for a pain pill is huge, because I hate them. I hate the way they make me feel, and I usually fight taking them. I have had doctors argue with me to take my pain meds, because I hate them so much. I actually have a doctor who once said, "In today's world I usually have to worry about my patients taking too much of their pain meds, with you I'm having to police whether or not you are actually taking enough or any! You don't want to be in pain yet you won't take the meds that will help the pain at least a little bit! What am I going to do with you!" She just shook her head at me at that point.
I feel like I am not really doing much of anything, I mean what I have done in the last week is really not that much. I know I am not supposed to compare what I am capable of handling now versus what I could do even a year or two ago, but it is really hard not to. How else do I judge the efforts I am putting forth? Even as I write this it astounds me that just the small amount of things I did this last week was enough to send me into excruciating pain. Has my life been reduced to this really? I know that part of this melancholy today is the pain, and when I am hurting this bad I always start down the why me path, the it's not fair, and the this totally sucks path. I hate this disease. I hate what it has done to me, to my family, to every part of my life because there is nothing that has not been affected in some form or another by this.
I just want to end this on a positive note. I am thankful for everyone who reads this blog. I am thankful for my friends and family. I am thankful for Nanny De who has made our lives richer with her wisdom and easier because of her love and care for all of us. I am thankful for my husband who takes care of me and our family. I am thankful for two beautiful amazing children who make my world complete. I am thankful that God loves me and understands even when I get angry with him. I am thankful to have so many compassionate people in my life willing to help and support me through this never ending battle.
So Thanksgiving with my Hubby and children was a blast! Colby came in to our room and had us up at 6am even though Casey and I tried to convince him to go back to sleep. Instead we ended up tickling each other and receiving and giving lots of morning kisses as we lazed about in Mommy and Daddy's bed. This went on until Brynna woke up at 7am, then we finally made our way upstairs. Casey ran out and picked up a Thanksgiving paper and a Mocha for Mommy (I am an addict when it comes to my coffee!), my husband is so awesome. We all sat down to a very yummy breakfast of French toast and bacon made by Casey (did I mention my husband can cook and it's all so delicious!!!).
After breakfast it was just about time for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, so we all settled in to watch. I made my few quick calls to family back in Wisconsin to wish them all a Happy Thanksgiving, and finished up just as the parade came on. Colby and Brynna were fascinated some of the parade, other parts of it they could care less for at this age LOL. Brynna showed us that she is definitely going to be our little dancer, as every time any of the Broadway shows did their numbers she was trying to copy the choreography Casey and I of course gave each other the Holy Crap look, and Casey said, "I guess she won't have a problem with choreography when she gets older!" (We love the show So You Think You Can Dance.) When the Rockettes came on we had to rewind it 3 times for them to watch the girls dance. Brynna was even attempting the high kicks, and well I think Colby might be a leg man like his father LOL! Brynna at one point said "Dance with me Mommy." Of course I had to oblige her so I was up dancing with my children.
Soon it was time for me to hit the shower and get us ready to go to dinner at Aunt Terry's Mom's house. We all got dressed up and headed down. The meal was fantastic and huge! I think Miss Sandy made enough food to feed the Marine Corps, and that was after we were done eating LOL! There was a beef roast, a ham, a pork roast, a turkey (of course), 20 pounds of mashed potatoes, a variety of 4 or more "salads", veggies, stuffing, rolls, cranberries, olives, pickles, green bean casserole, and candied yams! Mind you that doesn't even cover desert which was pumpkin pies, pecan pie, apple pie, and brownies. I was so full, yes I at way too much food. It's an unwritten law that you must stuff yourself on Thanksgiving isn't it? By the time we got home I literally passed out on our love seat. I laid down and was so sound asleep in minutes that Casey couldn't even wake me to say goodnight to the kids at 7pm. After he put the kids to bed he managed to rouse me enough to get me to walk into our bedroom, which I don't remember at all. I woke up at 8:30 and asked him how the heck I had gotten into our room. I was completely wiped out. Wow, I couldn't believe how fully drained I was and my only thought was how am I going to survive Christmas if Thanksgiving did this to me LOL!!!
So that weekend we decorated the house, by which I mean Casey and the kids did most of the decorating. I just mainly sat there and watched them because I was still low on energy and my pain was elevated slightly. End result our house looks gorgeous for the Christmas season. Oh and we did do shopping both Saturday and Sunday for decorations only, I wouldn't get near the mall craziness!!!
Then enters Monday and I get an idea in my head that I just can't shake so guess where I find myself on Tuesday.....out shopping for materials. I had been looking for a nice Stationary gift boxed set, similar to what one of my friends gave me about 7 or 8 years ago. I scoured the net and came up with nothing, it seems the art of hand written correspondence is a dying. Somehow I stumbled across decoupage which is the art of decorating an object by gluing colored paper cutouts onto it in combination with special paint effects, gold leaf and so on. Commonly an object like a small box or an item of furniture is covered by cutouts from magazines or from purpose-manufactured papers. Each layer is sealed with varnishes (often multiple coats) until the "stuck on" appearance disappears and the result looks like painting or inlay work. So I decide to make my own "writing box" and then I can fill it and decorate it to my liking anyway. Well I don't find the materials for my writing box and at first I contemplated building my own wooden box, then scratched that idea figuring that would be a little too over my head for now. (I have a really bad habit of going overboard and over my head, that whole jump without looking think hahaha) So I find this really simple unfinished cigar box and decided to make something out of it to test the waters of decoupage. I also didn't go crazy buying materials as I knew I had a bunch of things that would work from my failed foray into scrapbooking (and I man would it make my Hubby happy if I actually used them hehehe)!
So home I did trot with a determination I hadn't felt in ages, and an adrenaline rush to boot, plus my creative juices were flowing. I set myself up in the garage and set to work on my first piece. I started at about 4pm and was still working when my husband got home at 11pm that night! I was focused and happy creating this box. I loved it. I forgot while I was working that I was sitting in an uncomfortable metal folding chair, I forgot to go out and smoke for the most part (I only had two cigarettes in that time frame!!!), and I forgot about the pain for a little while. I was free for a while in unleashing my creativity. I was in heaven.
When I got up the next morning I was in pain but I ignored it and went to my therapy appointment, then to my friend Julie's. I had a great time there holding the baby for a little while, but I listened to my body and when my arms started to ache I put him in his swing. I tried to be helpful to their candy making efforts by policing the kids a bit. I even listen to my body when I could feel the energy waning in me and said my goodbyes gave hugs, headed home for that nap that my body was telling me I needed. But first I'll just swing by the craft store and pick up the stuff to finish off the box. Yeah an hour later I walk out with not just the stuff to finish my first box but more boxes as well! And that nap, somehow I was in the garage working on the box thinking I'll just get this first coat of paint done and then I'll nap while it dries, sure. And wouldn't you know it the second box 'magically' appeared in my hands and I was painting it while the paint dried on the first box. And that's where I was when the hubby got home at 5pm. I did put things away and went in the house shortly after he got home.
It didn't take long for the pain to set in either. It was horrible and it was bad. I could barely move, I was so stiff and the pain was so bad I was doing my 'old lady shuffle'. All I could think was crap, I haven't been this bad in a while. Casey made dinner and helped me up the stairs, so we shared our evening upstairs and then he helped me back down and we went to bed. I slept horrible, I couldn't get comfortable because of the pain. So when Casey was leaving for work and handing my morning meds, I asked for one of my pain pills. That says enough right there. For me to ask for a pain pill is huge, because I hate them. I hate the way they make me feel, and I usually fight taking them. I have had doctors argue with me to take my pain meds, because I hate them so much. I actually have a doctor who once said, "In today's world I usually have to worry about my patients taking too much of their pain meds, with you I'm having to police whether or not you are actually taking enough or any! You don't want to be in pain yet you won't take the meds that will help the pain at least a little bit! What am I going to do with you!" She just shook her head at me at that point.
I feel like I am not really doing much of anything, I mean what I have done in the last week is really not that much. I know I am not supposed to compare what I am capable of handling now versus what I could do even a year or two ago, but it is really hard not to. How else do I judge the efforts I am putting forth? Even as I write this it astounds me that just the small amount of things I did this last week was enough to send me into excruciating pain. Has my life been reduced to this really? I know that part of this melancholy today is the pain, and when I am hurting this bad I always start down the why me path, the it's not fair, and the this totally sucks path. I hate this disease. I hate what it has done to me, to my family, to every part of my life because there is nothing that has not been affected in some form or another by this.
I just want to end this on a positive note. I am thankful for everyone who reads this blog. I am thankful for my friends and family. I am thankful for Nanny De who has made our lives richer with her wisdom and easier because of her love and care for all of us. I am thankful for my husband who takes care of me and our family. I am thankful for two beautiful amazing children who make my world complete. I am thankful that God loves me and understands even when I get angry with him. I am thankful to have so many compassionate people in my life willing to help and support me through this never ending battle.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Friends
I have been thinking about the different kinds of friends I have in my life. And I have come to realize I am very blessed. I have a wide variety of friendships and they all offer different and special connections that brighten my life in so many ways.
I have acquaintances like the girls at my coffee stand, whom I love to chat with every time I go through which is usually daily. They are on that cusp that I would definitely call them friends but we don't hang out anywhere else. Just hasn't happened it seems. Same goes for my hair stylists, love them both they are amazing people and we connect in a few different ways. Not just the saloon but on Facebook as well. I am sure I could list quite a few different people here who I chat with on a semi-regular basis who have a pretty intimate knowledge of my life. And of course my WOW friends! They make playing the game even more fun!
Then there are my online friends and they are awesome. These run the gambit with so many different social networking sites to be had these days. I have my Facebook friends that range from Family members to classmates from High school. Closer to some than others but again wouldn't add anyone to my list that I wouldn't want to have a decent conversation with. I have found many of them to be very supportive and encouraging through different circumstances.
The other site I have is my CafeMom. Here again it runs to extremes I have people on this site that I have never met and will never meet, but they have become friends of a sort. Either through a group designed to support each other for a similar situation, like my Fibromyalgia group. Or just a group that has common interests like my World of Warcraft Mom's group, who happen to live all over the country. Then there is Let's Play Seattle, a group that was set up to get kids in the area together for play dates and to give us Mom's someone to chat with while this happens.
This group has brought me both casual and some really special friends. I have been very fortunate having only moved to this area 5 and a 1/2 years ago to meet some really great women through this group. One of the women that I have become close to is the creator of the group. An amazing woman who happens to have a lot in common with me. We hit it off and are really great friends now. She is one that has moved into that category of lifelong friends, or at least those you hope will be!
Speaking of those lifelong friends, I do have a few of those. In that department I am very lucky. I have some from high school and some that I have just recently met. The people who come to be in that group of my nearest and dearest friends are the ones who support me and are really there for me. We may not always see eye to eye, but that's not what being friends is about. There seems to be that connection of understanding when you find a friend like this. It is an awesome thing to have in your life.
So I just wanted to take this time to say Thank you to all those I consider friends. You mean a lot to me, and appreciate you for all that you do, all that you are, and for how special you are to me. I am so very lucky to have friends like you in my life. Especially now when things seem so very difficult sometimes. I am lucky to have you and can never repay the times you talk to me, help me, just listen, make me laugh, or give me a shoulder to cry on. You are the best and I am thankful to have met each and every one of you.
I love you all! ~ Mindy
I have acquaintances like the girls at my coffee stand, whom I love to chat with every time I go through which is usually daily. They are on that cusp that I would definitely call them friends but we don't hang out anywhere else. Just hasn't happened it seems. Same goes for my hair stylists, love them both they are amazing people and we connect in a few different ways. Not just the saloon but on Facebook as well. I am sure I could list quite a few different people here who I chat with on a semi-regular basis who have a pretty intimate knowledge of my life. And of course my WOW friends! They make playing the game even more fun!
Then there are my online friends and they are awesome. These run the gambit with so many different social networking sites to be had these days. I have my Facebook friends that range from Family members to classmates from High school. Closer to some than others but again wouldn't add anyone to my list that I wouldn't want to have a decent conversation with. I have found many of them to be very supportive and encouraging through different circumstances.
The other site I have is my CafeMom. Here again it runs to extremes I have people on this site that I have never met and will never meet, but they have become friends of a sort. Either through a group designed to support each other for a similar situation, like my Fibromyalgia group. Or just a group that has common interests like my World of Warcraft Mom's group, who happen to live all over the country. Then there is Let's Play Seattle, a group that was set up to get kids in the area together for play dates and to give us Mom's someone to chat with while this happens.
This group has brought me both casual and some really special friends. I have been very fortunate having only moved to this area 5 and a 1/2 years ago to meet some really great women through this group. One of the women that I have become close to is the creator of the group. An amazing woman who happens to have a lot in common with me. We hit it off and are really great friends now. She is one that has moved into that category of lifelong friends, or at least those you hope will be!
Speaking of those lifelong friends, I do have a few of those. In that department I am very lucky. I have some from high school and some that I have just recently met. The people who come to be in that group of my nearest and dearest friends are the ones who support me and are really there for me. We may not always see eye to eye, but that's not what being friends is about. There seems to be that connection of understanding when you find a friend like this. It is an awesome thing to have in your life.
So I just wanted to take this time to say Thank you to all those I consider friends. You mean a lot to me, and appreciate you for all that you do, all that you are, and for how special you are to me. I am so very lucky to have friends like you in my life. Especially now when things seem so very difficult sometimes. I am lucky to have you and can never repay the times you talk to me, help me, just listen, make me laugh, or give me a shoulder to cry on. You are the best and I am thankful to have met each and every one of you.
I love you all! ~ Mindy
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